Career gold


If, as we get older, time is supposed to go faster, how is it that January gets longer? On we grind from Boxing Day, through the darkness, waiting for a million gallons of Valentine’s Day effluvia to be sprayed across every retail space and signal that spring is on its way. I’ve been trying to come up with ideas to brighten the weeks, ably diminished by the articles telling us to incorporate creativity and what we love into our work and then we’ll be happy. Humph.

This same non-punitive approach figured in my new year’s resolutions when I was put on the spot, burping softly with swiftly necked prosecco, at my neighbour’s house. Devised on the hoof, they will apparently be re-presented in 12 months and their progenitor asked to grade how far they’ve been put into practice (the neighbour’s a teacher – could you guess?). Hence the prosecco chug and the ur-resolution, which was to let ‘easy’ and ‘nice’ be my watchwords. No getting to base camp or learning Welsh. Thus it was that I told a room full of strangers that I was determined to throw away my socks when they get holey, and to go to the cinema more often. ‘Easy’ and ‘nice’.

I’ve been to the cinema once – to see American Hustle, which was fabulous. But it was thanks to the trailers that a muddled career plan has emerged, one that incorporates those damn resolutions, creativity and the pursuit of happiness. It was the trailer for Out of the Furnace (plus the fact that creatively speaking, my socks are off-limits – eeech, they’d be leprous-looking glove puppets) that cracked it.

I’m going to write a screenplay! Here are just some of the lines and characters that I shall be placing in my scriptwriting grab-bag, jumbling up, dropping – read dem bones – and typing up.
‘He’s my brother’
‘That’s not my problem’
‘This IS hell’
‘Go ahead, kill me’
‘You made your choice’
‘Everybody has secrets’
‘You’ll never understand’
‘I gotta go’
Guns – several. Fistfights – many. Woman – one, distraught, tangential. Torsos – bare, oiled. Lighting – blue/grey to contrast with honey-hued flashbacks of domesticity.

And off I laugh to the bank – creatively satisfied and richer than God. And if that doesn’t work, I’ve got some wannabe glove puppets living in my sock drawer. Cha-ching!


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