Sound vision


You know those useless gadgets in your kitchen – the ones that just gather dust and don’t work properly and just use up space? Since 5 April – digital switchover day – we’ve had one on the worktop and negotiations are continuing with what to do about it. Finally a verdict has/might have been reached. Get a new telly.

Problems arise with the lack of antenna outlet in the kitchen, but since I’m working at High-End Tech Magazine, a solution has been forthcoming from the astonishing amount of expertise dotted about the room. Get a plastic bowl, a camera tripod, a marker pen, something else, something else and a drill with several different bits. Soon after mixing these things up in a complex sequence of events that I might not have sub-edited very well, we shall have created a home-made Wi-Fi booster.

Or, we could do what my housemate’s friend suggested (he works for an art collector): buy a digital antenna from Curry’s.

This of course could well leave our sitting room, with its old, enormo, sticky-out-at-the-backy, dog-box TV, feeling a bit underdressed. We’re concerned that civil war might break out across the ground floor – you know how touchy consumer durables are about rivals. But, again, our motto is Stay nimble, Stay thinking. Here’s the plan: I’m not working in an office next week, so why don’t I use the time to knit the old telly a smart new hat? Waddya think? Good, huh? It’ll have to be huge, of course, probably about four feet in circumference, and it’ll make the telly look like Spongebob Squarepants, but anything to keep the peace.


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