Christmas cowntdown


There are several good things about freelancing, esp at year-end, and I have chosen to list them according to the overworked organisational trope of the seven deadly sins. Yes, I am a little bit bored. Look under sloth and you’ll find out why.

Envy: Posh magazines send posh Christmas cards to their scattered drones. This makes for impressed housemates and guests who think I know Karl Lagerfeld. I carefully elbow the other cards out of the way to give the grandees pride of place, then wave away any enquiries with magnificent nonchalance.
Greed: Nipping between titles and hoovering up Christmas sweetmeats wherever you land means the full extent of one’s gut-bucketry is untracked and therefore unaggregatable (except by those inveterate truth-blabbers, the snuggy waistbands).
Gluttony: There’s a difference between these two?
Sloth: It’s Christmas. All the top brass bugger off to their country piles where there’s only a patchy signal and they can’t read pdfs, leaving us with nowt to do.
Pride: Look! Look! I must be brilliant at this! I’ve got bookings in the new year! I spell good, me and punctuation move as one, and my grammer is: spectacular.
Anger: Not really one of my things, but anyway it would never get a chance to build up because I’m on to the next place within days.
Lust: Apologies, but that’s not really a seasonal thing, more of an Always. Nothing special about Christmas there – but freelancing in different places sure widens the ogling pool.

Anyway, the in-depth research required for this piece led me, inevitably, to Wikipedia. It tells me, in amongst some frankly swashbucklingly loose translations from ancient Greek, that sloth is actually sadness, dejection or despair. That’s a deadly sin? Given what’s going on at the moment if I were God I’d downgrade that from mortal to venial pretty smartish. No point making things worse, is there?


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