Archive for August, 2011

Well, there you have it. It is possible to write 11,523 words in three days. How? Step 1. Go out with some fellow dissertationists on the Friday night. They will be bound to say things to you like ‘What, nothing?’ and then look at each other and say things like ‘Oh, about 6,000,’ and then, […]

How has this happened? This never happens. Never. Except it obviously does. It does and has. Or more accurately, it hasn’t. Nothing has happened. Nothing at all – and I’m shitless. Welcome to the labyrinthine casbah of my academic life, where contradictory ideas are yoked together with sketchily untheorised assertions. Bring on the non-sequitury logic […]

Scribble me ree


This week I am working in Posh Glossy. When pages go for approval, they come back with lots of different scrawls on them from the different editors; scrawl that you have to decipher and act upon. Uh huh. Yes, boss. All that stuff they say about computers making people’s writing worse? Fo sho. I’m not […]

Yesterday. Sign in Sainsbury’s fridge. Obv someone with notions/black belt in Managerial Obfuscation. ‘This refrigerator has been de-merchandised because it is awaiting repairs!!!’ ‘De-merchandised’? But loving the three screamers. Loving them!!!

Steamy stuff


I’m adjusting to my new super-soaraway core temperature, but yesterday took it for a real test drive: at Tooting lido. Since I’ve been puffing like Steam Boat Willie, I wondered I’d act like an element in a kettle. In fact my toasty flanks were not enough vaporize the million-odd gallons of water, but whereas my […]

Warm welcome


I ain’t saying anything, but the day I come back to London, the unrest stops. Coinkydence? In no way related: panacea’s a good word, isn’t it? Another one: mollify. As part of my recherche de temps perdu in Dublin, I went to see Dave the acupuncturist. We first met when I was working at Irish […]

I leave London for 10 days and the place goes nuts. Riots? Looting? Wtf? I’m coming back tomorrow and THERE WILL BE TROUBLE.