Hot Metal


Ok, have been glued to the minute-by-minute updates regarding the cohorts of darkness at News International. One much-loved ex-colleague had moved to the News of the World – more specifically selling ads in Fabulous and therefore absolutely and utterly blameless – and has been fielding messages of support on Fb. Whole thing stinks.

However, when one door closes, it’s time to make lemonade, on the sunny side of the street and all that. So I’ve decided to set up my own Sunday newspaper, featuring heavy doses of celebrity gossip, with me as editor, features editor, showbiz editor and chief reporter. I’m a crap photographer so there won’t be any pictorial evidence to back up my stories; you’ll just have to take my word for it, ok? And if I get anything wrong I can assure you that I didn’t know, I was on holiday, I wasn’t consulted and as editor I never check with my senior editors where they get their stories from. See, I’m a natural. I wonder if Tesco would take an ad.

But I’m right for the job(s). Yesterday I walked past Cameron Diaz in Berkeley Square; this morning I walked past Stella McCartney on Piccadilly and I once saw Nick Rhodes having a fag on Hanover Square. That should be enough ‘news’ for my launch issue, shouldn’t it? Oh, wait, now I’ve told you. Damn. I’ve scooped myself.


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