Fit for purpose


Here’s an idea. If you are working at Well Known Fashion Magazine during the week, and feeling the pressure so badly you have to go and comfort eat pastry at lunchtime, think carefully about your evening pursuits. Specifically, I would advise against going to the Performance-Sports Shop and trying on swimming costumes. Yes, it was indeed time to replace the old saggybag one, but did it have to be yesterday? Really?

I always thought the word ‘Endurance’ embroidered onto the buttock referred to me in some sort of arse-cheek shout-out of encouragement (though I did vaguely wonder why they’d put it in the place I’m least likely to see – in that case, why not shave it into the back of my head?). In fact, it’s the fabric it’s describing. How embarrassing. And they all have names like ‘LZR’ and ‘Raceback’, all as optimistic as ‘Endurance’. I’m not really one to be LZR-ing through the water. I’m more of a grind it out until the hands on the clock have moved enough. Practice, it seems, doesn’t make perfect, not even faster. FKIT.


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