Stiff upper lip


Movember  – the international, sponsored moustache growing in aid of prostate cancer research – is great. Not because I’m in love with all things tache-tastic, but because it’s nice to watch boys take full licence to make fools of themselves, while laughing heartily all the way. If I were a bloke I’d try all manner of face foliage. I change my hairstyle so often, I know that if I had the chance I’d be pinging about from Lord Kitchener to chinny to handlebar to Terry-Thomas, right through to a monster wooffley John the Baptist, just to see. Though I’m not blind or Richard Herring – Hitler, Rasputin and Ming the Merciless would stay on the bench.

Another reason to enjoy Movember (besides nobly thinking that it’s good for boys to do something for charity AND think about their health), is ignobly basking in the relief that for once it’s not women worrying about their appearance. From the ladies’ perspective, it has made us look at the gentlemen of our acquaintance in a new light, as people who can laugh at themselves and be secretly anxious about the way they look. This is v reassuring to those of us who are too fat/thin/tall/short/cellulitey/flat-chested/heavy-busted/stumpy legged/big bummed and haven’t got anything to wear BECAUSE I’M TOTALLY HIDEOUS *bursts into tears*.

Fact is, and I’m sorry for this, in some quarters this it’s-just-for-charity lark has precipitated a crisis of masculinity. Or at least some distinct unease. Normally, no one gives a crap about whether they can grow a full Brian Blessed, or they keep that particular neurosis to themselves, anyway. But this has (literally) sorted the men from the boys. Or the Jacobs from the Esaus. Oh, and menfok? When you say you’d love to give it a go but your girlfriend has banned it/would go nuts, everyone knows you’re lying. Unless she really did, in which case you should maybe consider changing your girlfriend.

It has also proved that some blokes are good-looking no matter what they do to themselves. A mate called Raul is currently sporting a Magnum to the max and is still able to make the chicas swoon. Ding dong!


2 Responses to “Stiff upper lip”

  1. I go this whole without shaving saves me some money and really helps to freak out people not used to seeing me like a hairy woodsman.

    • 2 vanessaharriss

      This is true. I had a teacher at school who had a beard like Moses. One day he shaved it off and we found he had no chin at all. Plus he had two-tone face from where the top half had got weatherbeaten and the bottom half had stayed milky pale. Like Boo Radley, or one of those spiders that live under manhole covers and never go black. Eurgh.

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