Follow me, if you think you’re hard enough


Last weekend I was down in Bristol. This coming weekend I shall be in Lincoln. Get, as they say, me. The Bristol trip was to go walking, which we did, for about two more hours than we’d expected. See, we had the maps (the walking guidebook AND two OS maps) but once you’ve turned left instead of right out of the picturesque 12th century church (please note the very rare Charles I coat of arms, the fine Carolinian pulpit with sounding board and the unusual 14th century carved wooden boss above the west window) you’re jiggered.

Press on, press on, and ignore the fact that the directions now only partially make sense. Yes, there is a river, a stone bridge and a field – you’re in the West Country, of course there’s a bloody river, stone bridge and a field or two lying about – but it’s funny how there’s no ‘clearly visible stile’ and no path ‘diagonally right up the hill’. Fair enuffski, you might think. Praps the authors did the walk in the winter. Praps it was a few years ago.

But when the instruction to ‘pass underneath the power lines’ also doesn’t make sense, stop. Don’t keep grumbling about how rubbish the book is. Don’t keep marching on stoutly, and don’t keep saying how you’d do a much better job of giving directions. Because soon enough, instead of the squat Norman tower of St Margaret’s, you will find yourself gawping in puzzlement at what is unmistakably the pointy spire of St Barnabus’.

Still, you could always amble sheepishly back up the hill, buy a Snickers in the garage and plod back the way you came, pretending that it had always been your intention to visit the ugliest village in the county, and not the charming one three miles to the west.


One Response to “Follow me, if you think you’re hard enough”

  1. 1 GoogleEarth

    now see, this is the main reason you haven’t got The Travel Guide knocking at your door requesting your services.

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