Being Kerry


Last weekend, with uncharacteristic topicality, I dressed up as Kerry Katona. Little did I realise that within hours her mum was going to be plastered, possibly literally, all over the papers in unedifying connection with class As. But there we go: through accident, brilliance. Whatever that is in Latin. The reason for my make – um – under was an old chum’s birthday. We have only recently rediscovered each other after a gap of nearly 20 years and he is an utter delight (there it is again: through accident, brilliance). The theme was bad taste and I felt that an Iceland bag and a liberally talcumed cleavage was well within the pie-chart.

But no matter what Vogue may say, it takes more than accessories to make an outfit, thus Saturday afternoon found me slinking into Primark in search of something stretchy. It took a while but just as despair was taking root, my eye was caught by a hot pink, wide-leg velour tracksuit. I shall be having that, I thought, wheeling round to scoop up a blue vest with racing back and the word Ibiza gummily printed across the front. That lot and one pair of large hoop earrings heavier, and 10 pounds 78 pence lighter, I was heading a few doors up to Iceland.

pink track standing

Cupcake anyone?

pink track1small

The foundation has not yet been applied

Next to Superdrug for some startlingly orange foundation, and I was ready to go.

The party was fantastic, with Jordan, John Lennon, a couple of terrorists and a large gnome (eh?) in the merry throng. Naturally I spent Sunday swaddled in booze gloom but it was worth it. Though I did have to jetwash that foundation off before bed. Eurgh.


4 Responses to “Being Kerry”

  1. 1 Hugh

    Surely we deserve to see the photographic evidence? I must see this outfit.

  2. 2 vanessaharriss

    Well, see, there IS in fact photographic evidence, which I have to get from my flatmate’s camera. But be warned, it ain’t pretty in pink.

  3. 3 sidwadell

    I would have paid good money to see that. If you were short of a cleavage you could have borrowed mine.

  4. a picture would have been good…or funny lol

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