Archive for September, 2009

Being Kerry

24Sep09

Last weekend, with uncharacteristic topicality, I dressed up as Kerry Katona. Little did I realise that within hours her mum was going to be plastered, possibly literally, all over the papers in unedifying connection with class As. But there we go: through accident, brilliance. Whatever that is in Latin. The reason for my make – […]


Birds and booze

17Sep09

Obscure skills you didn’t know you didn’t have but wouldn’t mind being good at the next time these things are handed out: No. 19) Chicken-whispering. It isn’t as easy as it looks. Just fending off the little buggers’ murderous attacks, even though you have nothing but love in your heart, is pretty difficult. Last weekend […]


Friday feeling

12Sep09

A moment’s rumination – just a moment, mind, don’t expect anything big – leads me to conclude that Fridays are by far the most variable nights of my week. Every other day has a bit of a theme. Like sorting my washing or working until 1am. But Fridays? Whoo, Fridays rub the lamp of chaos […]


Lost in Lincs

04Sep09

Lincolnshire is great – the people there are unhurried and relaxed but there’s something charmingly off-kilter about the place, charmingly off-kilter or utterly deranged


Ha! Let me anger the gods! Let me goad them, tweak their noses and shout rude words at them from passing cars. The putah’s working! Sound the trumpets, and fire the cannons while you’re at it. The fixyman has wielded the fixywand and now the whirlypole has gone. Course, I’m not taking any chances; I’ve […]